I’m worried about my housemate. She seems so withdrawn and depressed lately but apparently only when I try to spark a conversation with her. Ever since I wrote that last post suggesting that she was responsible and that I loved her dog, her personality seems to have just changed (around me) for some reason. When my buddy Joe was here hanging out she was really chipper and cracking jokes and stuff but no longer with me. Maybe I send out the wrong vibes. It’s not my intention though and only want to keep it at a friend level. No idea and she won’t offer an explanation and I prefer to have things explained if I don’t understand. Me sad. *pout*

There could be an explanation however…

A long long time ago in a far off galaxy…

No really, many years ago most of my friends were female. This is before I became a walking man-whore in my mid-20s (a phase long-since gone) though since I gained so much weight in the meantime you never would have guessed. With some of them we got really close but never stepping over the boundary of kissing or skin-on-skin contact. We’d cuddle on the couch or in bed if we were down, and just overall be there for each other without getting sexual or mushy. It must have been a teenager thing. I’ve known my housemate for many years. In fact, we met off MySpace. She went through a traumatic experience (in my opinion) at her old household and suddenly moved into mine. We were sitting on the couch one day away from each other and I mentioned that if she ever needed anyone to talk to or if she needed consoling through cuddling, she could request it. I wasn’t intending anything reboundy or sexual in nature. Just two friends who could use self-therapy. I’d love to know her honest opinion about that rather than just a shrug and being polite. On second thought, the request may have come off as a little creepy and I think I may had just become “that guy”. Ugh.

I need to find someone who can help me be more articulate when conversing. Somehow i lost my charm. I’m like an exact copy of my “Uncle Narayan” who is my dad’s younger brother. We both take so long to tell a story. What normally would take the average person 5 minutes, takes us 5 hours. I also need to learn how to continue a conversation. No one will volunteer though.

Anyway, we got pumpkins from Powers’ Farm Market! Now the issue is when I’ll (we’ll) be able to carve / paint them. I haven’t carved one in years and when I did, it didn’t remotely resemble anything humanistic. My art form is lacking. I should probably just punch a hole through it and say, “walla!” I’ve never been much of a decorator unless it’s work-related. I’d like to do more of it around the house, both interior and exterior, but that comes down to time and money. I no longer want to be that guy living only on my monthly pay.

I was asked the other day how I wasn’t able to save much and invest in things when my friend could and they don’t make as much as I do. My response was that 1) they live in a house worth about 40 grand which is all paid off; 2) their taxes on the property are minimal; 3) combined with the property taxes on both properties, I have a double mortgage on my house and a mortgage on my limo property which are bleeding me dry (along with all the utility bills and stuff.) The secondary mortgage on the house was to help pay for the new construction on the limo garage (putting in six bays where each had its own garage, each bay needed its own draining system connected to a main city sewer pipeline, removal of asphalt lot to place curbs/lawn/bushes/sidewalks, outside / interior lights, plumbing, etc.). Before the construction it was just an empty warehouse structure with one garage. The problem is that even though I put in at least 6 figures reconstructing the place, the assessed value hardly budged.