The other day, Kristina was getting sad and mentioned that she wanted to keep Natalie sheltered from having daddy issues. But as I read more and more about what daddy issues are, I’m convinced that K actually has them too even though her father passed away when she was an adult at age 21.
15 signs that you may have Daddy Issues
- Your self-esteem is low, you don’t love yourself and you can’t ever seem to implement boundaries because you always feel guilty for doing so. If the relationship that you have with yourself sucks, your dating life can best be described as a trailer for a self-help workshop, and if you continue to have “bad luck” with men… chances are it started with the relationship (or lack of relationship) with Dad or a significant male figure from your childhood.
- You have a really hard time trusting any guy that you’re with. You have to “screen” them. You don’t trust because you subconsciously trusted Dad and he hurt you/didn’t meet your expectations/didn’t accept you/didn’t validate you/loved you conditionally/abandoned you/emotionally starved you, etc. This also happens if you feel like Dad didn’t protect you.
- You need validation from men. If you’re dating someone, you have this thing where you need to make it known to your boyfriend that you’re “in demand.” You even seek the validation of other men when you’re with a good guy (which never lasts). You’re a validation junkie and can never get enough.
- Breakups aren’t just devastating for you, they’re catastrophic. They cause a ton of collateral damage and you find yourself needing to seek validation from your ex like you need to breathe oxygen. This can result in continuing to go back to your ex (emotionally, physically or both), sleeping with your ex, continuing to feel like you have a say in what and who he does, etc. You feel like you “own” him even after the relationship has ended. It’s like losing a family member and a lover all in one.
- You like eliciting jealousy and any other reactions that display the effect that you have on men.
- In your relationships, you’re jealous and over-protective.
- You need unreasonable levels of reassurance that “everything is alright” that you’re “good enough,” “hot enough,” and the list goes on.
- It’s hard for you to remain single.
- You’re a serial monogamist and always act like you know it all.
- You prefer to date older men. And no, that doesn’t mean you’re hitting up the local retirement home but you do like men who are older.
- You’re more comfortable in seeking validation from an emotionally unavailable man than you are being with a “good guy” who validates you. Good guys bore you.
- In one way or another, you were emotionally orphaned as a kid by Dad or by a significant male figure in your childhood. And you’ve been on an emotional driftwood ever since.
- Your Dad was around, but never really “present.” You never felt “good enough” for or truly connected to Dad.
- You have abandonment issues due to emotional or physical abandonment from Dad.
- You consistently involve yourself with emotionally unavailable and narcissistic men.
Credit: https://postmalesyndrome.com/
Kristina doesn’t fit the whole 15 point list and neither does Natalie. Natalie does however go from boy-to-boy within a month’s time and she’s only 13. She’s had 7 or 8 partners so far. She has a good head on her shoulders but I fear that for the sake of staying together with a boy she really likes, she will eventually loosen her values for said boy. She may even follow her mother’s footsteps and get pregnant at the age of 16. Hopefully under different circumstances if this is the case. I remember that it was only 1.5 years ago when she said that she wouldn’t date until she was out of high school. Times change so quickly.
Summer is around the corner. This means more summer teen parties filled with games like Seven Minutes of Heaven, Truth or Dare, online Omegle-style games over FaceTime or other media, Sexting which is highly popular in her age group, etc.
I may or may not be involved further with Natalie’s upbringing. Kristina seems to want to hold all the cards when it comes to Natty. I’ve tried but seem to get the shaft when making decisions for Nat. I fear I’m more used when it comes to finances. Not anymore though – if I am not allowed to make decisions, I will back away from paying for things. If K is so bent on raising her teenage daughter because she didn’t have a hand in raising her son, then she can do the whole nine yards. Natty’s soccer league costs at least $450 per season. Good luck with that.
In any case, I’ve never been in a relationship with someone quite like this one. We have so many arguments because I am rigid and stable and K is more hippy-like never really having a grasp on anything 100%. When it comes to long-term relationships of 3+ years, I don’t think Briana and I ever truly had a fight but Carrie and I did though not as intensive as K and mines’. I don’t know if that last word is correct, apostrophe and all. The problem lies because we do not communicate properly. I don’t believe that we have had one serious conversation about us, about goals, about raising or disciplining Nat, about financial matters, etc. Each time I try to bring something up, K has the same reaction every time where the excuse is either about work or ‘relaxing’ and emotional level goes from 0 to 10 in a matter of seconds … for the last three fucking years.
There is never a middle ground. Things are always either black or white, never gray. It’s always either all or nothing, no compromising…
Kristina tends to control the conversations. She will talk about whatever she wants to talk about and I don’t create a fuss. I’ll even pause my TV program if she interrupts. But when I bring something up? Fuhgeddaboutit! WWIII. I’m going to attempt to react the way K does for future conversations that she brings up so she can see just how irritating and annoying those reactions can be.
We had a fight yesterday. See conversation after she went from 0 to 10 within 10 seconds…
🤷🏽♂️
High Hopes 